To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids and dating someone with kids WAS a dealbreaker for me. Until I met my now husband. A little background there:
I dated someone with a child and it was a MESS. The lies the lies the lies! I vowed to never date anyone else with kids and at the time, if I was the author of my life story, my husband and I would be having our first child together. That was just something I always visualized and wanted to experience. But, I’m not the author 🙃 and I married the man of my prayers, who already had TWO kids. But girl if you want all the relationship tea and tips, you’ll have to join my email list here for that part of my life 💍❤️
Being a Bonus Mom came with its challenges but my husband made it worth it. We’ve all grown individually and collectively and my husband has done an amazing job teaching the kids who I am, my place in their life, respect and inclusion so I’m grateful for that.
I’ve been in their lives since our son was 4 and before our oldest daughter was even born. I’ve even matured as a woman and Bonus Mom. I used to feel left out so I would just isolate myself and avoid doing things together but then I realized, that’s not gonna help us grow as a family. And so it took effort on my end and I had to build my own relationship with the kids. And so I did 😊 (I also talked to my husband about how I felt and together, we implemented things that worked for all of us, allowing us to grow).
Then, I started to have thoughts 🤔 I wondered what it’d feel like to be called “Mommy” one day, instead of “JJ”. I wondered what Motherhood felt like from a biological perspective. And seeing the way my husband was with our kids, I wanted to experience that. So we began to have conversations about it and I knew he always wanted kids with me but was leaving it up to me and when.
Back in November 2021, I found out I was pregnant. But after a few ultra sounds, we learned that it was a nonviable pregnancy. A few months later, we tried again and God said yes, now.
God has always shown my Husband and I, even as friends, and especially in our marriage, that there’s a season for everything. His timing has always been perfect and we’ve always trusted His will over ours. (For those who don’t know, we fasted for 30 days away from each other before we decided to commit to a relationship after being friends for 2 1/2 years who was clearly in love. We have always prayed for God’s timing and not ours, and fasting confirmed God’s plan for us). Again, you might wanna join my relationship tips email list for tea like this!
On Feb 5, 2023, our baby girl was born. We named her CZN, (pronounced season – as a testimony) and her name is spelled using the initials of her older siblings, including the nonviable pregnancy. She is literally the most precious gift and her spirit is so beautiful and full of joy. I can’t imagine my life without her and I’m so grateful that God said yes to my prayers. 🤱🏽
It’s been a journey for sure, and I’ll dig deeper into all of it throughout the emails I’ll be sending. Feel free to reply back with any thoughts or questions – this is OUR space and it’s better when we actually talk/you reply to the emails 😅. Any Bonus Moms out there??
Gentle reminder:
To the woman who’s praying to conceive, who’s praying to see a positive test, or who’s praying for a different doctor’s report: God is able and He’s faithful. Pray without ceasing and know that there’s a season for everything. Your blessing is coming if you believe it.