Hey Mama. I was so excited to have my baby, and I still am of course, but I didn’t know what to expect after child birth as any first time mom wouldn’t. No matter how many books you read, how many articles, and how many Moms you talk to, all babies are different and there is no true, accurate guide.

I kind of feel like the word “postpartum” gets thrown around loosely but becoming a Mom, I realized it shouldn’t be taken lightly, it needs to be talked about more and Mama’s AND Dad’s need support. That support can be a phone call, multiple visits, a care package, food delivered, keeping the baby for a couple of hours so Mom can sleep and the list goes on!

I’m grateful to have had 6 months off, paid, to bond with my baby. Dad even had 6 weeks off and that’s not typical for the spouse, so I felt blessed to have him home that long. But it was SO hard when he went back to work. Postpartum isn’t always “depression”, it’s the state of being after child birth and that state can be a mix of emotions. I felt alone, sad, happy, sore, overwhelmed, exhausted, and like a cow just expressing milk all day long lbs.

There’s been some good days and really sad/lonely days but THINGS ARE BETTER NOW! It was rough but once I realized how to overcome it, which was choosing not to let it consume, I was ok. To go into detail, here are some things postpartum taught me and I hope you find this postpartum advice for new moms helpful:

• It won’t always be this way. It will get better.

(Reminding myself of this during the newborn stage gave me so much hope!! We’re in month 3 now and it is SO MUCH BETTER).

• Communicate with your partner. Open and honest communication is critical right now. Tell them how you’re feeling, what you need more of and the physical and emotional support they can offer.

I am still sane because of TEAM WORK.

• Ask for help & create shifts with your partner, even if you feel like you got it covered. Don’t burn yourself out when help is available (possibly – I hope it is!)

I allow my Husband to sleep after work but then he takes over so I can have time to myself before he leaves for work again.

• Rest when you need to, especially while the baby is sleeping.

If the baby is sleeping and that’s the ONLY time you can have to yourself, take it. Don’t force sleep if you rather enjoy your presence and peace.

• It can wait.

I know you want to clean the pump parts and bottles or even tidy up while the baby is down, but if it’s not needed right now, it can wait. Enjoy this time. Breathe. Sit. Lay. Eat.

• If you let it consume you, it will!

There were days where I fought the tears from coming down because I knew I had to be stronger than how I was feeling. I had to stay positive, uplifted and push through yet another lonely day.

Note: I learned this AFTER a few melt downs.

• Company is so nice.

Ask some of your family & friends to come over and hang. Some people will not invite themselves over to give you and baby some bonding time, so feel free to make it known that you’d like some company!

• Buckle that baby up, baby wear or get the stroller but whatever you do, GET OUTSIDE. For a walk, a quick errand, Starbucks, whatever has a drive thru/curbside pickup.

Being in the house 24/7 started to drive me insaneee. And feeling like I had to squeeze all of my errands in one window before hubby left was too much. Curbside!

• It’s ok, not to be ok.

You will have your days, but having a support system, a Mom group or girlfriends to vent to and emphasize with has been so helpful for me. I hope you have this as well.

• Connect with other Mamas.

This has been a life saver for me! It’s been fulfilling to have other women to talk to, vent to, consult with about baby needs, share remedies, and just be a listening ear. I had some 2am texting buddies and that was comforting to know we were both trying to stay sane and learn our babies lol. 

My favorite reminder and affirmation the first few months of Motherhood was “It won’t always be like this. It will get better.” That affirmation kept me going and gave me so much hope!

I hope you find peace, rest and a reassuring affirmation as you take on this new journey or as you await for your prayers to be answered.

You got this, Mama (and Mama to be)!