I was sitting here thinking about the holidays and how it always feels better when you’re spending it with loved ones or that significant other. And then I was quickly reminded how years ago, I would settle just to have someone or something to do. But feeling a void with temporary solutions got me nowhere and for sure wasn’t going to get me close to the permanent change I wanted (a healthy, committed relationship).

Don’t let your loneliness run you back to comfort and convenience. There’s a difference between what God brings together and what loneliness brings together. And this is exactly why my husband and I fasted for 30 days away from each other before making it official. Yes, we were on this emotional rollercoaster and really wanted God’s timing, but we also wanted to make sure we weren’t forcing anything.

We wanted to make sure it was love and not lust. That we were choosing each other and not the comfort of each other. We didn’t make it official until some time after the fast. It was day 6 of our 30-day fast when God told me that was my husband (I get chills every time I mention that!!). My baby!

But first, I had to date myself, relearn who I was coming out of a long-term relationship, and focus on my relationship with God. I knew once I got my head on straight and focused on the right things, everything else would fall into place. And it did.

It was in my loneliness that I found wholeness. It was in my weakest moments that I found strength. It was my brokenness that made me whole.

If you don’t take anything else from this message, remember this: until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness. 

And more importantly, remember this: your worth is NOT tied to a relationship status!