I was super hesitant to entertain the idea of even dating my husband because of past relationships and I vowed to never date a man with kids again. To be honest, I just felt like it would always come with drama, and the male straddling the fence between moving on or trying to make it work for the kids. But thank God I was wrong (this time).

After healing, learning my triggers, and working through my own flaws and bad habits, I was able to see clearly and date him from a healed place. Most importantly, I went with prayer and not advice.

I asked family and friends what they thought about me dating him and almost everyone said it would be too much, it would come with drama, I didn’t need the responsibility of kids when I was only 25 with none, he wouldn’t have time for me and I could find better.

And what did I do, y’all? I dated him ANYWAY, MARRIED him and gave him ANOTHER kid 🙂 because once I quieted the noise from them, I was able to hear from God. If God himself told me that was my husband, then THAT WAS MY HUSBAND! And here we are… 5 years later and please note: it don’t get no better than this!

Today’s message:

As you date, pray for discernment. Yes, value the wise counsel from those who love you, but if YOU know how they make you feel, how they treat you and it’s been a beautiful experience thus far, then stop asking others what THEY think. Because your experience may not be theirs and sometimes people will project their fears/past onto you.

Go with prayer. What’s for you will always make its way to you and nothing can stop God’s plan. Not even you!

It’s important to know it didn’t happen overnight. My hope was to inspire you by sharing our story, but I don’t want to set expectations for you based on MY story, which was told in a very condensed, bullet-point way. So, let’s break this down and get to the details.

1. It took us over TWO years to commit AND realize that we were soul mates.
2. I was literally overlooking him and friend zoning him because 1. I vowed to never date a man with kids after one bad experience. 2. He wasn’t my type. 3. I was in a broken place and in the midst of healing so at the time, I was unknowingly sabotaging what God had for me.
3. I had to be HEALED in order to receive and see that was my husband.
4. I couldn’t give him all of me because pieces of me were scattered in my past.
5. Although he was pursuing me, he still had things in his life to straighten out. Where I’m certain He was praying for clarity and direction.
6. I was asking for advice and seeking validation from others regarding him.
7. We just weren’t ready. Gods timing is perfect and sometimes when God gives us a vision, we RUN with it when sometimes we have to walk with the vision. My husband wouldn’t have preferred a friendship of 2 years but it’s what we needed. It was the walk we needed to take. We build a solid foundation, we became friends first which is so important and we had time to get some of the kinks out. We probably wouldn’t be together today had we got together sooner – unhealed, immature relationship wise, no boundaries, etc.
8. We fasted because we were on this emotional rollercoaster. Some days it felt right and promising, like we should be together and some days it didn’t. Some days we were flowing, and some days we weren’t. We figured if we removed ourselves, literally, God could take control and give us clarity and direction. We wanted to make sure we weren’t forcing anything and that this was love and not lust. We were so intentional when it came to our next relationship and we just wanted to get it right. And by fasting away from each other, everything came together. And here we are, almost 6 years later.

Here’s what I learned and what I want you to take away from all of this:

Seek God First.

What’s for you won’t miss you.

Sometimes the relationship you’re praying for is on the next level of where you need to be as an  *individual*.

Make sure you’re HEALED and READY to receive the love you’re praying for.

Go with prayer and appreciate good counsel, but don’t run with advice or someone else’s experience.

All good things take time.

HEAL. Heal so you won’t sabotage what God has for you. Heal so you don’t overlook the person you’ve been praying for all along. Heal so you won’t assume every kind gesture is pretend behavior. Heal so you can love again and be loved.