Someone asked me what advice would I give to someone who’s in a committed relationship and for the first time, they see children in their future.

Off the top of my head, I quickly shared:

• Seek God first. Pray for discernment, His timing and His will.
• Think about where you are in your relationship right now. You may be at the peak, traveling, having fun, creating amazing memories, on the extended honeymoon phase and you may want to enjoy that for a few more years before children are involved.
• Where are you both financially/career-wise? Are you ready to bring children into the picture?
• LIVEEEE while you don’t have kids in the picture. Yes, kids are a gift and a blessing from God, but they change everything, rightfully so.

Like for me, everything is different now:

• I have to consider how long I’ll be gone and what I can wear that will allow me to easily pump.
• I have a diaper bag rather than a purse of my preference.
• I’ll be returning to work before I know it and the only job I want right now is to be home with my daughter.
• I no longer sleep when I want to but when I can.
• Being “outside” is no longer a preference and I miss my baby within 3-4 hours.
• If I do go out, I have to consider her sleep schedule and making it home before bedtime.
• I can’t just hop in the shower, get dressed and leave. I have a list of things I need to pack and 8/10, I need to nurse before we leave the house.
• I haven’t slept for 5 hours straight since February.
• I wake up every 3-4 hours to feed her through the night (thankfully she’s sleeping through the night!)
• I miss cuddling with my husband whenever – taking a nap, dozing off on the couch on the weekends.
• I miss traveling whenever we felt like it.
• I miss making plans without having to consider a babysitter.
• I miss taking on opportunities as they fell in my lap.
• I miss creating in my office for hours while drinking wine and listening to R&B.

And although everything is different, I still feel more me than ever.

It’s only been 4 months but already, I know life will look different as far as my brand, traveling with my Husband and just doing things on the fly. I miss the freedom we had before a baby (our other two kids are much older which made things easier/different). I miss waking up on weekends and shopping for hours. I miss taking myself out to eat and dating myself. I miss going out, not worrying about pumping or reliving my sitter at a certain time.

I LOVEEEE my daughter but I also miss my husband and the way things used to be and that’s a valid feeling to have. Although I miss those things, I’m also still really fulfilled right now and know that I’ll get back to certain things when she’s older. It’s an adjustment for everyone, even our baby.

I always told myself (because this is the way I wanted to see it when I had kids), “life doesn’t stop when you have children, it starts, a new version.”