Laid off, that is…
Just when I thought things were taking off, smh. I quit my job working for the radio back in December of 2018 and this is when my testimony started. I’m used to ALWAYS having a job or finding another one quickly but I was unemployed for four months. Regardless, I never missed a payment. I even managed to write, publish and release my first book, Brokenness That Made Me Whole, all while being unemployed. I had a few side hustles that kept me afloat so I worked extra hard to get the money I needed for my book and my boyfriend had an open hand whenever I needed it (thank God for providing MEN!).
I was always complaining about needing more time to write and create and there I was, jobless with nothing but time on my hands. Now that I’m mentioning this, I just thought about something. I found a job in April, AFTER writing and publishing my book. So what I’m saying is, God blessed me with the time, finances and a providing boyfriend to accomplish one of my dreams within a short time frame. THEN, He blessed me with a job once that was completed. God is so dope!
So here I am, beginning of April, with this fancy title: Director of First Impressions (how cute is that?), loving my new job, working a block away from my boyfriend, same route to work, taking lunches with each other… it was perfect. Then God shook some stuff up. Here I go again, praying for more time to work on my brand, to relaunch, to put more effort into open mics and book events. Work became slower and slower to the point where we had no more clients… and just like that, the company closed down. The first thing I said was, “God I know what I prayed for but I didn’t mean, RIGHT NOW.” I wasn’t at a point where I was financially stable to be off of work AGAIN. I was just planning some big things! Some big events, some promotional materials and photoshoots. But then I had to remember, if He did it before, He’ll do it again. I’ve been through this before, so no need to worry, just take advantage of the time you’ve been asking for (once again).
Before we started losing clients, I was praying to get back into a creative space. I can’t even remember the last time I wrote something or posted a blog (this is my first one in months). I was busy with my first play (which was AMAZING) and busy getting acquainted with my new job, that writing just wasn’t on the agenda. So I promised myself that when the play was over, I was going full force with Brokenness That Made Me Whole. Attending poetry events, book events and one day soon, hosting my own event.
From that point on, God was waking me up at 5AM every single day for about 4 weeks. I would wake up and couldn’t go back to sleep. For the first week I tried but then I got used to it and I would just stay up. I would read my daily bible plan (Trusting God Day by Day by Joyce Meyer was my FAVORITE, check it out!) or just scroll down all of my social media timelines. The second week and every week after that, I woke up to the Holy Spirit speaking to me about ideas, events, titles, blog post, topics to discuss. That to me was so amazing. I started to get excited to go to sleep just to see what God would give me the next morning. I spoke to someone at church about it and she told me “Write it down, everything, and thank God for the message.” So I did. While this was happening, I was going to work feeling blah. I enjoyed the people I worked with, love them, but I wanted to tap into what God had for me because I knew it was bigger than my 9-5. I was hungry to produce every thought that He had given me. I went to work but all day, I thought of my brand. What’s next for me? What project should I start first? And sure enough, when I started creating, it wasn’t long before we received the news of the company closing. Nobody but God! (You probably don’t know anybody who’s had that response but I knew what God was doing and getting ready to do. I’ve been through this before). When I first quit my job last year, God told me “So now what you gon’ do with the time you’ve been asking me for?” And this time was no different. It was time for me to produce. To have faith, to let God lead me and do everything I was praying about. It was time for me to feed my soul, to walk with confidence in my purpose.
I’ve been without a job since July 3rd, but blessed to get paid for the remainder of July. I haven’t submitted one application but I’ve had two interviews. But leaving those interviews, I knew that it wasn’t for me. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, I need a job BUT, I have to choose something that adds value to me. I have to choose a job that will allow the flexibility to balance work and my ministry. I understand that my next move has to be my best move. Whatever decision I make can advance me in my purpose or it can slow me down. So what am I to do? Well. I’m gonna stand still and let God work, that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna stand still until I hear from God again. I’m gonna consult with God before I make any decisions. I’m gonna continue to pray and ask God “what’s my assignment for today?”. I’m not doing anything else without His direction and His consent.
The money will come. The bills will be paid. The side hustles I have will keep me afloat (multiple streams of income is key) but it’s bigger than money. It’s bigger than me. I’m after my purpose not finances. I’m focused on my assignment from God because everything else will fall in place and there will be overflow. I’m operating fully in faith.
One of those 5AM mornings, God told me to have my first event in August and I just didn’t feel ready or prepared. I’ve always been nervous and fearful of support when I decide to do something. Sometimes I second guess myself and doubt takes over, wondering if it’s a good idea, is this what I’m called to do, does it make sense? (But you guys proved me wrong with my blog, my book AND my podcast. The support has been AMAZING…THANK YOU!!). Back to the event.. God said have it in August. I prayed about it for a week and God told me specifically, “Now is your time.” I didn’t know where I would have it, how, or where the money would come from but I accepted the assignment. I decided to stop being part time with my brand, with my ministry and listen to God. Like WHATEVER He tells me, I will do it because His thoughts are not my thoughts. His plans are for my good.
Ok, I’m gonna wrap this up now.
A week after accepting my assignment to have my event in August, I met this lady. I had seen her before at a church I visited and I couldn’t stop looking at her hair because it was LAID (see what I did there with the title? No but seriously, it was). About 3 weeks later is when we saw each other again and she came up to me. She introduced herself and said “You are so beautiful. You did an awesome job in the play and your book is amazing. You stood out to me on that stage, there’s something about you, there’s a light shining on you. I remember seeing you last year perform spoken word and I’ve been following you since then. I think you’re awesome and I want to be a part of anything that has your name attached to it.” Babbbbyyyy!!! (Can you believe it?! Like, I wanted to cry!!) First thing that came to my mind was my event in August that I had no details about. Turns out, she’s in the business of sponsoring. Andddd that’s when God said, this is why you don’t need to worry about the money, I have doors opening for you. I have people waiting to bless you!
With that being said…
Ladies, please mark your calendars for MY FIRST EVENT!!!! August 31st 2019, Brokenness That Made Me Whole: Girl Talk.
Until next time because there’s always, Moore To The Story.